I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
