You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Let's get the cat blown out
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
