I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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