Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
