He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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