she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
