your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
