I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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