bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
