who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
