marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
