Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
