Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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