Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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