i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
