we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
