at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
