I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
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