guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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