shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
