This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
