he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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