You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
