boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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