I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I need to stop coming to work sober
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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