I cockslap morals
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
