and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
