I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
