also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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