Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
