I accidentally had phone sex last night
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
