Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
