hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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