How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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