he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
