I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
