Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
