if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
