Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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