dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
