i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
