ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
