Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
