you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
