Where did you get a picture of my penis
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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