i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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