Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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