Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
