I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
