Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
